ITT: We act like we are all roommates

usually I would buy some wine, but I feel real sick
 
Can we figure out what's wrong with my leg first?
 
hmm
 
I was a doctor for a few years, let's see if I can still work my magic.
 
(Taps leg with leg splint.) There! It should be good now.
 
(Runs to bathroom and throws up) Guys! Don't go in to the bathroom!
 
Yeah.. you're welcome... (passes out)
 
LETS PARTY NOW
 
(Only nerds, Australians, and people who happened to watch discovery at the right time will understand.)
 
Sure! But I brought this Rioja wine.
 
*You have Blue Ringed Octopus and I have Rioja Wine*
 
No one looked up what a Blue Ringed Octopus is, did they?
 
Sorry but the room was getting cramped, I had to clear up some space
 
I think I’m gonna be sick
*collapses to the floor*
 
I need a doc now
 
(Spending 90% of my childhood watching animal planet has really paid off.)
 
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No turns out I didn’t eat the poisonous part, I’m just allergic to sea food
 
irl the entire thing is poisonous lol. I'll accept it though.
1950 on the other hand...
 
Huh, seems your seafood allergy actually caused a double negative situation and you lived.
 
WAIT, Is that a totem of undying I’m his pocket?
 
Uh how do we tell ANSGARD
 
I’ll just tell him 1950 left for some scratchers and a pack of smokes
 
Yea but your the one who asked and I’m the one who wanted to party sooo
 
So he got into my private aquarium while drunk and tried to eat my mollusks.
 
Ok that’s better than my suggestion of smokes and scrachers
 
Honestly, this is an ideal murder, let's dip his hands in the mollusk tank to make it look like his hands were in there.
 
No way I’m not touching his body
 
Fine
 
Aight let’s do this but we gotta hurry cause my job interview is in an hour
 
And I’m still hungover
 
Okay. *We position the body and clean up the evidence.*
 
(barfs) oh god... I shouldn't have drank wine.... welp.. bye, I am gonna go to the doctor.
 
*Sees 1950's body* What the hell are y'all doing?!
 
I think he grabbed the Blue Ringed Octopus from my tank and ate it.
 
I didn’t get the job because they said I smelt like wine, seafood and a rotting corpse mixed together
 
He grabbed some smokes and scratchers
 
Wdym by smokes and scratchers?
 
What does that drink has? I'm not feeling too good.
 
Smh who keeps parking behind my van, I haven’t been able to leave in a week.
 
Uh guys, what is that siren going on outside?
 
*Pulls gun out.* You did what?!
 
(invisibly appears behind Yobro and whispers to his ear): "I may be dead, but I'm still around 😈"
 
Oh gosh, please tell me you won't be like Peeves.
 
Woah Cats. I’m also unloading 10% of my profits to you to compensate. When the new world order arrives, you will have a first class seat within it.
 
Also there are 5 snipers on you if you shoot me it’s over.
 
Oh yeah, I may or may not have recorded you saying that.
 
Give me the device or you get sniped
 
You can't catch me, I'm sonic! *Proceeds run over to area where I won't be found.*
 
(I throw a grenade in the hiding spot)
 
(XD we can rewind to before you grabbed the grenade or just pretend I didn't say that)
 
*Grenade explodes in midair.*
 
The new world order task force will be here in 3 minutes, and you're cornered with no way out, I also have a totem of undying, so you won't kill me before you die.
 
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